Monday, December 22, 2008

The Past

I have been working hard for the past few months on me. One of the things that I have realized is that I can make decisions that impact me in a positive way and don't always have to be the one giving. But I received a very unexpected email today. An old "friend" emailed with a thank you. Thanks for love and support and compassion. It makes me wonder if I will eventually become a cold person. The kind of person who can't forgive and leave the past behind me. Does the past effect us so much that we need to take it with us or is it possible to keep it at arms length. To learn from it without always having it there. I am happy in my present. I enjoy the people that I spend my time with and the things that I do. Going to school and to my job make me happier than I have been in a long time. The amazing thing about now is that despite the longing that we all have for love and acceptance of someone else I feel happy with just me and ready for what the world has to offer instead of always thinking that I know better than it. In short, I am happy with me as a person. Which brings me back...Do I accept this person's apology and reach out or leave well enough alone. Will the past just hurt me again or make me stronger than it already has?

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