what I see and some stuff I know

New address... Same blog

2010-04-21T13:40:00.001-07:00

I have changed the address to my blog and will be deleting this one. Please follow the new/same blog. Did that make sense?

http://whatiseeandsomestuffiknow.blogspot.com/

Derbyland

2009-11-11T00:26:00.001-08:00

I have decided that being a part of roller derby is like being a zombie. I know, I know it doesn't make much sense to you now but it will all become clear soon.
First of all let me say that I became involved in derby because of my good friend, Jess. This is her hobby and I was only trying to help out. I offered to do anything that I could. When someone suggested that I announce the bout I figured that I routinely make a complete idiot of myself on a daily basis in front of 30 people so 500 hundred more couldn't do much damage. It turns out that we all got a whole lot more than we bargained for.

On Saturday, November 7th Fargo held it's first ever roller derby bout. As of 7pm when the doors opened we were still praying to sell 500 tickets and break even. I was praying that I didn't say something really really stupid and screw up the whole thing for the ladies who had actually put the work into it. By 7:30 it was pretty clear that we had more then 500 people and by the time 8pm rolled around it was clear that the building was getting full. I got lucky and had two fabulous announcers John Maddening from St. Paul and Cracked Pepper from Minneapolis come and walk me through the finer points of calling roller derby. At half time I had the extreme privilege of announcing to North Dakota's first roller derby league and to 1700 fans that they had sold out the civic center. I thought for a moment that I was going to deaf by the end of the night because of the noise that the crowd made. People were going crazy, clapping, screaming and having a generally awesome time. I was still praying to not make a complete fool of myself.

The other amazing thing about this league is that everyone who helps is a volunteer. Everyone from security to the band was there donating their time. The other amazing thing is that all of the people who volunteered asked to come back and do it again.
I suppose at this point in the story you would like to know a few things. Like who won and how did the night end. It turns out that all of the practice and hard work paid off. FMDG won their inaugural bout and then threw a huge party to celebrate. On a personal note all of the ladies came up to me afterward and told me how wonderful I was. My favorite comment of the night was “You were awesome. Can we keep you?” It turns out that they really did want to keep me and that I am now the permanent announcer for the FM Derby Girls.
So I started this little journey trying to help a friend and ended up with a whole new set of friends and extended family. It was an amazing thing.
Oh, you are still wondering how roller derby relates to zombies aren't you? Well think about it this way... When you get bitten by a zombie you have two choices. You can become a zombie or have someone shoot you. When you get involved in roller derby you are pretty much stuck there it seems. You can either stay involved or... well...
I, for one am enjoying every second. My name is Julia Childless and I love roller derby!

Free Condom.

2009-09-13T14:32:00.000-07:00

Now that I have everyone's attention! Yup, it actually is a free condom, received at college night in Fargo, ND at the Fargo Dome.

Right away I could make all kinds of comments about how it says something about our society when they give away condoms at a college fair but we have all heard this before. Let me make it clear that I don't make a big "political" deal about a lot publicly but I will get up on my soap box and pound my pulpit about the importance of birth control until the cows come home so this is not about that. The reason for me putting this out there is that the whole exchange was so amusing to me. I was strolling through the college fair picking up free T-shirts, pens, candy, hair dye, ear plugs and anything else that people have come up with to give away. I walked past Planned Parenthood's booth which was one booth away from the Catholic Newman Center's booth. That was either a mistake or a really hilarious joke by someone!
This woman sees me glance over and shouts at me "Free Condom?!"
"Ummmm sure." I said
The guy that I was walking with, a classmate of mine says "Nice! Free condom!"
The really hilarious thing is that these things come in little packages like cheap matches and have all kinds of stuff written on them including a figure that looks like the Republican Party elephant with the phrase Protect America underneath it. As you can see by the photos this is, indeed a XL condom but I am pretty sure that I can not protect the whole of America with one extra large condom!

Finding My "Happy"

2009-08-31T19:38:00.000-07:00

My friend Kim told me that when her boys were young the best way to clam them down was to tell them to just go off somewhere and find their happy. I am finding that for the first time in my life my happy has found me. I have evaluated many things in the last few weeks as my journey into culinary arts has started and what I have found is astounding. I don't wake up in the morning trying to be happy, I just am. I don't worry about things that I can't control and work hard on the things that I can. I enjoy the small things in life, like a conversation with a friend or sunny day.
I had someone ask my awhile back what my long term goals were. I had to joyfully answer that I had no long term goals, that I was waiting to see what life had to offer me instead of being so vain as to assume that I could decide without any help. Maybe the universe has something for me that I hadn't thought of before. Maybe it has my perfect job and perfect home and perfect match and I have to be patient and wait for it.
So, off I go into the world to find all the things that I love. So far I love food, friends, family, my dog, scuba diving, knitting, napping, eating, hot baths, swimming in a cool lake, walking barefoot in the grass, swing dancing, hugs, smiling, laughing... This may take awhile!
This year I want to try everything that I can. I will make stock, learn to ski, sky dive, sew, and travel... more. Any other thoughts?! Please submit your request in writing!

Back to Fargo

2009-08-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

First of all let me start out by saying that I believe this phrase to be grossly overused but I am going to use it any way. I am a very blessed and lucky person. I have just returned from a three month long adventure in the Southwest United States. Las Cruces, NM to be exact. It was one of the most amazing trips of my life! There were so many things to see and people to meet. I had the chance to get scuba certified, crew a hot air balloon and see all kinds of sites... like mountains. In addition to this I lived with Candace and her fabulous family who took excellent care of me while I was there. I am alive, in one piece and happy as a clam. I felt that the best thing to happen was the one thing that people take for granted the most sometimes. The people that I met were amazing. People who do interesting things, see the world in a completely unique way and are at turning points in their lives. People ready to find their own adventures!
As for me I have returned to the Fargo/Moorhead area to finish my degree in culinary arts and look for my next big adventure. As I was coming home I found a new sense of happiness. I am still not used to people actually liking me so it was a welcome and happy surprise of sorts to find my family and friends anxiously waiting for me. I danced, knitted and got caught up with everyone. One of the people that I met on my journey emailed me not long ago and said that since I had people who were sad to see me go and people who were glad to have me back that I must be doing something right. I sure hope so because I am the happiest right now that I have ever been. I feel as though my soul has found me again and that we can face the world with a strength that I thought was lost.

Special blog

2009-06-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

I have decided to create a new blog for my trip to New Mexico. That way I can easily find things later and you can all see the fabulous things that are going on here. The link to that blog will be...

http://happilyigoforth.blogspot.com/

Enjoy my adventure!

Trust and Pain

2009-06-02T22:29:00.000-07:00

I normally try not to blog about people who may, in fact read the blog. But here we go. I am not a trusting person by nature any more. I am pretty sure that most people are out to get you and have a hidden agenda. That being said I work very hard to trust first without judgment and deal with whatever consequences may happen along the way. I recently made a very good friend. The kind of friend that you don't make every day. Someone who shares my interests and genuinely cares about me. Someone who is not necessarily exactly like me, but that was part of the beauty of the relationship. There was so much to learn and challenge and be a part of. Not judgment and resistance but real connection and happiness. So I thought. I wonder if I did something wrong although I can't think of what. I realize that sometimes what we perceive as happiness is actually a clever disguise for someone using you. I don't like to think that people do that, especially in this case. So, I worked at it and the more I do that the more hurt I got and the more times I felt like I was fighting a loosing battle. With anyone else I would have walked away by this time and just said that it wasn't worth the frustration. Why is that so hard to do now? I feel like a piece of me has been taken, borrowed and not given back. I either want that piece back or I want my friend back. To be honest I would prefer my friend.

A Note On Cleaning

2009-04-12T01:33:00.000-07:00

I finally decided that I needed to clean the apartment. One of the reason's this is so hard is that my apartment is essentially only one room. So, I have no backup. It's not like I can hide the mess in the spare room and shut the door. And don't tell me that you have never done that! I also think that if I didn't have so many books, yarn and cooking gadgets it would be a lot easier to keep it tidy. But as much as I hate to clean I hate an untidy apartment more. So, I suck it up and clean. I even re alphabetized the books, organized the kitchen and cleaned the fridge! I feel like I got so much accomplished. Note to self...I need to go to Target and get hangers on Monday!

Born a Travelin Man

2009-04-09T13:46:00.001-07:00

Or gal, as the case may be! That's right folks I have officially booked my flight and am going to Las Cruces, New Mexico for the summer. For those of you interested in all the nifty details, I will be flying out of Fargo on June 6th at 12:15pm. The plan is to fly back into Fargo on August 18th at 3:30pm. I DO have a round trip ticket so all those person's who have been worried about me staying there should not be worried! I am excited about this trip for a few reason's. One of the things that I said I wanted to do more of when I went back to school was travel and see new things. The other is that this is the first trip of this kind that I have ever taken. One of the things that I would like to do while I am away is to write letters. Not emails, facebook, blog (although I will be doing all of those things) but real letters, on paper, addressed and mailed through the USPS. If you would like to be one of my summer pen pals please let me know. Otherwise, keep an eye on the blog. I will post photos and thoughts for the entire summer about my adventure. You may also find me on Facebook! See you on the road!

Bananas are great in Banana Cream Pie

2009-04-06T20:33:00.000-07:00

Below is a series of emails that my family sent back and forth. We are an odd bunch. Fun, but odd.

Email from Matthew (my brother)

Yes. Yes they are. . .

From my Mom
I just spit a mouthful of tea all over my keyboard!

From my Dad
Warning label on a Showtime rotisserie. I saw this at Kmart the other day...

From Matthew
LOL. Damn you Ron!! You lied to me!!

From my Dad
It wasn't a lie. It was a metaphore.

From Me
Typical philosopher! I'm using that the next time!

From my Mom
No, not a metaphor--a rotisserie. Get your kitchen appliances straight.

Feed Your Soul

2009-04-03T00:38:00.001-07:00

After last nights rant I decided to make a list. I know, I know, I am always making lists! But I think that we all loose sight of the things that make us happy sometimes. What really makes you feel like you, feeds your soul, inspires you? Here are my top five.

1. Knitting. Soothing, relaxing, and when I am done I have a pair of socks!
2. Cooking. No explanation needed.
3. Music. Who doesn't dance around their living room like an idiot sometimes!
4. Reading. I only with that I could find a way to knit and read at the same time. Perhaps a nice man who reads aloud?
5. Napping. And I mean a really good snuggly, phone off, middle of the day snooze in the rain.

I might also include really good films. Part of the reason being that I can knit and watch movies at the same time. In the last day I have done at least a little of each of these things. And, so, I go out into the world once again with good humor mostly in tact.

When Will it End?

2009-04-02T00:55:00.000-07:00

How long and dreary and mundane things seem to be now. I feel as though I have wandered into the final level of Dante's Inferno and wonder what trechery I have committed to trap me here. A week of sandbagging to hold back a river determined to destroy, three days of being sick (because of not taking care of myself during the previous), and just to top it off, more snow. So, after briefly thinking that there must be a way to justify staying in bed for the rest of the winter/spring I decide to try and make the best of it and pretend that it isn't happening. I pulled the blinds shut, put on a pot of tea, turned on Brideshead Revisited, and started a new knitting project. A lovely pair of green socks. Spring green, with specks of brown and yellow knit into a leafy pattern around my feet. Just the ticket. I feel that the completion of this project should take me just long enough to wait out the rest of the bad weather. You'll all cover for me...right?

Shadows from the Past

2009-03-14T00:45:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation with my past tonight. It reminded me that we all change and grow into different people. Not all things from the past have to be revisited but sometimes it is nice to know that maybe you didn't screw it up like you thought you did. When I talk to people about regret and wanting to do things differently I always tell them that I don't regret things that have happened. You can't change those things. The only thing that we can do is learn from the experiences that shape who we are. Good and bad things all make us who we are. I like who I am. The question is, if I took away all the painful things, would I still be the person that I am? Every time I doubt how I deal with the world I try to remember what is is like when I compromise the real me, the me that I like. So, in the end we all end up in places that we don't like but the only thing that we can do is climb out and move on. We will all be okay. Give me a high five, give me a hug, and if you must, do a pink fruity shot and move forward. I know you...trust me.

Snowed In

2009-03-11T16:17:00.000-07:00

I figured out that I officially need at least two full days to reset my brain and start to decompress for the time off to actually work. I finally gave in and took a day off sick on Monday. I think that my body just decided that it had been through enough and it was time to rest. I slept all day and then I lounged around on Tuesday because school was canceled. It was the BEST two days off ever. (not counting the sick part.) why does it take me so long to admit that I need a break? Why am I so stubborn and stupid about taking care of me? Of course now that I have had a few days my brain is mush but never mind that.
A few updates then...Leverage is one of the best shows on television right now. I watched a whole season yesterday. I also started my whole season of Fringe that is sitting on my TiVo. Awesome! To many fruit roll ups will give you a tummy ache. And I am about 40 rows from getting my shawl finished! All in all a very dull and relaxing few days. I am ready to face to world once again but try not to jump in all at once...please.

Flat Stanley

2009-02-27T19:46:00.000-08:00

The first time I heard about Flat Stanley I wasn't so sure. But as I learned more about Dale Hubert's project I got very excited. This was for several different reasons. The first of which was learning that the teacher, Dale Hubert, who started the Flat Stanley Project is from London ,Ontario where I was born! Those Canadians are so cool!
So, here is the premis. Flat Stanley gets printed off and colored. He then accompanies you to different places and has his picture taken. Then you can email or snail mail your adventures to others. It was origianlly started as a way for kids to write and learn but is becoming a phenomenon all over the country. Flat Stanley had been photographed with many famous people.
I think that this is one of the niftiest things that I have ever seen. It is creative and cost effective. Especially with the rise of blogging and emailing this is a great way for everyone to get involved. To learn more about it go to the Flat Stanley website.
Print off your own Flat Stanley and show us all where you have been!

Pass on the Love

2009-02-24T23:41:00.000-08:00

I was ready my friend Jess's blog, Domestic Piracy the other day and I found this idea. I think that it is so nifty so I decided to try it. Here is how it appears and I am going to borrow some of her ideas as well!
The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done in the next 12 months.
- You have no clue what it's going to be.
- I reserve the right to do something unusual.

The catch? You have to put this in your blog as well. Pass on the love!

I'm clarifying a couple of points. Firstly the item will not necessarily be knit. I'm a crafty ho, you know, it could be...I don't know, made out of chewing gum and Popsicle sticks. I also want to point out the specification that you have to post this on your blog...that means only people who blog are illegable. I'm not running some hand-made gift charity thing here. You gots to reciprocate.

Sarah

Stand by Me

2009-02-21T17:56:00.000-08:00

Every month the 188th Army Band out of Fargo stays at the hotel. I love to have them all in the building. In addition to being part of our armed forces they are a bunch of super interesting and fun people. Last night I got chatting with one of the guys and he showed me this site. Keep in mind as you watch the video that all of these musicians are filmed in a different place and are not performing together. I was stunned at the continuity of the rhythm, pitch and key. Such a neat video.

http://www.playingforchange.com/pop.html

Much needed time

2009-02-20T19:22:00.000-08:00

I am reminded once again that it it the small things in life that make it worth getting up every day and venturing out into the cold. First off, I had my ears cracked at the chiropractor which I love. Then I had lunch with Rachael which was so nice. What I actually had to do today was buy something to put under a dress that I bought. I am notoriously bad at the "girly" thing so I talked Rachael into coming with me for moral support. I could have never believed that shopping could be so much fun! We even took time to try on evening gowns that we not only couldn't afford but would never have a place to wear. Three hours, one bra, one shirt, one pair of shoes and an Orange Julius later I found myself wondering were the day had gone. We rounded out the day picking out a tie for Mark and blissfully watching the fish in the aquarium. It was mostly the time. Just the low stress, relaxing time to take a much needed breath from life.

Happy

2009-02-18T19:03:00.000-08:00

I was going through my regular blogs today and the post "Redress" in Panopticon caught my eye.
http://the-panopticon.blogspot.com/
I was thinking while reading about his experiences how similar they are to my own but mostly the one thing that I experience that he didn't mention. For me knitting is also a social act many times. I love the days that I get to go to the yarn shop and hang out with everyone. I love being asked about my day, school, my new hair color. I love hearing about peoples kids, dogs, mom's and other things that make up the non-knitting side of their lives. Every time I wear something that I knit as part of a group I remember small things about that time and place. Then I moved on a started to think about all the other things I do that end up as social events. I swing dance and cook and hang out at work on my day off like a person with no life. I think that the people that I know are the most interesting part of the world around me.
As I know people and learn about them I have started to learn something about myself. That the "me time" is more important than I ever would have dreamed. The time to sit in quiet and think about what I have done, as your parents would say! This is the first time in my life that I can remember being completely comfortable with me by myself as a person. I think that we all long for that person to share our thoughts and ideas and life with. I feel confident that when that person wants to find me they will and in the mean time I am having a fabulous time being the person that I have always wanted to be.

Dropped the Ball

2009-02-11T15:55:00.000-08:00

It seems that the streak to blog every day in February has not worked. I have been getting so run down with my schedule that I have made myself sick. Not good. But I am hoping to climb back up on the horse and tackle the world again. Despite my icky few days I am still trying to be optimistic. School is going well and I seem to be managing my time a little bit better this semester. So, with all of that behind me on to a new week!

Almost got the traveling Charleston at dance yesterday. I have moments of understanding!
Got a new phone. And it has a Facebook application!

Missed One

2009-02-07T19:19:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday was so long and exhausting that before I could even get the laptop back out I fell asleep. To be honest I can't even remember what I did yesterday. I know that I must have gone to school but after that it gets a little hazy.

I had a very tasty taco that my friend Kristie made for me.

Overlapping Days

2009-02-05T23:29:00.000-08:00

I am beginning to feel as though all the days just run together. Like someone has accidentally thrown water on what might have been a very nice painting. I am lucky that my online calendar highlights which day I am on so all I have to do is look at the highlighted day and follow the directions typed in it. Go to school...Go to work...Come home and sleep poorly...Rinse and repeat...
My hope is that in the end it all pays off and I have something to show for myself at the end of all this. I would post every day except that I keep such freaking bizarre hours that it is hard. This is actually yesterdays post and I just got home to late to do it into today...wait...never mind.
I would like to have one whole day to clean and one whole day to sit and do nothing. That would be awesome. My one day off would consist of the following. Stars Wars 4-6, Caffeine free Coke, kettle chips, tub of sour cream and lipton onion soup mix (stir and you have fabulous dip), comfy pants and t-shirt, comfy blanket, comfy dog, and on a perfect day, comfy someone else to snuggle with. Must be avid Star Wars fan and love chocolate...Please apply within.
First I need the day off...

Got a 90% on my algebra test!

"Major" Changes

2009-02-04T20:34:00.000-08:00

I finally declared my major in writing and officially. I am keeping my AA but adding culinary arts to that. I am actually really excited about it. I think that I will be really good at it and have a chance to do something creative while actually making money. It was a long but good day for me. I started a new knitting project called Evangeline. So, I listened to Stan Rogers song "Evangeline" while I was casting on. Talk about a warm and cozy feeling. I am tired and sore from dance last night so I am looking forward to going home to a hot bath, warm bed and snuggly dog.

Italian Buffet at school.
Hearing Sara Smile during shuffle on the computer.
Casting on a new knitting project.
Making someone smile with my lasagna.

One of Two

2009-02-04T08:29:00.000-08:00

Because I got home very late last night I didn't get the chance to blog. So this will be the follow through for yesterday. The day was good until my car wouldn't start...again. But in the spirit of finding the good in things I have a friend that left the warmth of his apartment at 12am to come and give me a jump. Such is life in this frozen wasteland. Other good things...

I have lost 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks.
Dancing has been fabulous.

A Pretty Ordinary Day

2009-02-02T19:20:00.000-08:00

All in all it has, indeed been an ordinary day. I don't really think that there is anything wrong with that. I find the idea of always having something exciting happening interesting. I think that we have all become so caught up in the idea that everything should move so quickly. We are bombarded with television and video games that feature explosions and plots that we forget that most of the time we live in the ordinary world. We sometimes miss the little things that make life so good. Like the fact that if we have an ordinary day and nothing really exciting happened it probably means that nothing bad happened either. After all the excitement of the last few months I am enjoying my one ordinary day.

I talked with Natalia. (this actually happened yesterday but I enjoyed it so much that I pushed it to today's list)
I finished a sock. (I haven't actually closed up the toe yet but I count it a finished anyway!)
I got invited to a birthday party.

Sunday Dinner

2009-02-01T19:46:00.000-08:00

So, today brought another Sunday dinner. As per my friend Sam's request we had lasagna. Pretty good but to much sauce. Not that anyone here was complaining! I feel ready for the week to come and hopeful that it is much better than last week.

Had a great time grocery shopping.
Cooked.
Worked on my sock which is almost done.

A Day of Socks

2009-01-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

I am pretty sure that I won't have time to blog latter since I am spending the day at Boucle knitting. We have sock club at 3:30 and then we have a long movie night until midnight. I am pretty sure that is my feel good thing for the day! Also...

A good snuggle with Bella the dachshund this morning.
Listened to one of my Favorite soundtracks, Juno.
Had a great warm bath.

A Good Type Of Day

2009-01-30T20:32:00.000-08:00

As per my promise in yesterdays blog here is the good things list for the day. It doesn't officially start until February 1st but why wait.

1.I heard really good tunes on the radio today. Specifically Let My Love Open The Door by Pete Townsend which I came home and listened to again while dancing around my apartment like an idiot. By the way, if you want to hear a great cover of that song listen to Sondre Lerche's version.
2.I had a fabulous pancake dinner that the Boy Scouts put on as a fund raiser.
3.I got to go to the dinner with two of my friends and get caught up.
4.I decided on a major.

Bad Vibrations

2009-01-29T20:18:00.000-08:00

I haven't been blogging because I have been in a pretty foul mood lately. I have been tired and cranky and haven't been sending a very good vibe into the world. I was standing outside my apartment the other night watching the hot air from the dryer vents twirl through the iron gate and give the whole place a very eerie and ethereal feel and I rethought this position. I had a friend coming to get me for no other reason but my bad mood. He was there to cheer me up. I wonder how many of these little things get overlooked in a day. A favorite snack, a cuddle with the dog (or kids or wife or husband or whoever!), a favorite rerun, a good poem and all the other little things that happen to us. We only see the crap. So, I have decided that for the whole month of February I will be posting every day. I will have at least one good thing to say about my day no matter how bad it may have seemed. I will start with this week and get going...

There was a live band at swing dance.
My friends were concerned about me.
I understood my algebra homework.
I had a piece of apple pie after a very tasty pork chop.
I reconnected with some people.

Good start. More to come.

Moon

2009-01-11T07:03:00.000-08:00

Last night was the largest full moon of the year.

The moon will look bigger and brighter than any of the year. As I stood on my balcony last night and stared up and the orb hanging just of the edge of the building I was reminded of one of my favorite childhood stories about the princess Lenore and the moon.

When she is convinced that she wants the moon the Jester asks her how big it is, where to find it and what it is made of. She tells him that it is just smaller than her finger nail, it gets caught in the tree outside her window and it is made of gold. The other fabulous thing about her moon is that even if you pluck it out of the sky it will grow back. If I were going to wear the moon it would be a pearl surrounded by a silver band. A band so polished and bright that you could slide all the way around it like being in a playground full of stars. How do you see the world?

Little things mean a lot

2009-01-07T18:22:00.000-08:00

I am happy for the people we still have in the world. As you may all recall I have been having some “issues” with my car. Specifically the blower motor which makes it difficult to see out the windshield ,which in turn, makes it difficult to drive. I got lazy and left it parked at work of a week and a half while I decided what to do. I called around for part prices and looked and new cars and hummed and hawed about it for much longer than I should have. I finally took it to the shop a few blocks from my apartment and got a quote. When I finally did take it in I fully expected them to have it for a few days. Imagine my surprise when I got a call 4 hours later from Ron telling me that my car was ready to go. Not only that but I ended up costing me about $200 less than I thought it would thanks to Ron’s part shopping. I am not a car person but I don’t think that I am stupid either. They did good work and charged a fair price for it. I don’t see that happening much anymore. So, a little heads up to the guys at Sahr’s Sudden Service in Fargo, ND. Thanks.

Quantum of Solace

2009-01-05T15:18:00.000-08:00

I have been lazy about blogging. But as I know you never get better at things until you practice. So, a few things. First of all typing has been irritating because the v on my computer has been sticking. I have wondered if I could get by without it but how many words could you not use that include the letter v?
In other news I got a chance to see the new Bond movie the other day. I really like Bond and wanted to like this movie but it was long on action and short on plot. I really wanted to have more story. The story that it did have was pretty preachy and obvious. On the bright side you've got to love Daniel Craig as Bond. The film is very nice to look at and the action sequences are fabulous.
I have finished yet another pair of yummy socks so that makes 4 pairs. I don't know what it is about the socks but I feel so much better about them than other things that I knit. Something about wearing them on your feet. I am not sure that I can bring myself to knit socks out of the new sock club yarn though. I mean cashmere between me and the floor! I may have to find something else to do with it beside just touching it which is what I have been doing.
I'm sure that once school starts things will get exciting again. Until that point I will just write about the things that happen every day and hope for an extraordinary moment.

The Past

2008-12-22T02:12:00.000-08:00

I have been working hard for the past few months on me. One of the things that I have realized is that I can make decisions that impact me in a positive way and don't always have to be the one giving. But I received a very unexpected email today. An old "friend" emailed with a thank you. Thanks for love and support and compassion. It makes me wonder if I will eventually become a cold person. The kind of person who can't forgive and leave the past behind me. Does the past effect us so much that we need to take it with us or is it possible to keep it at arms length. To learn from it without always having it there. I am happy in my present. I enjoy the people that I spend my time with and the things that I do. Going to school and to my job make me happier than I have been in a long time. The amazing thing about now is that despite the longing that we all have for love and acceptance of someone else I feel happy with just me and ready for what the world has to offer instead of always thinking that I know better than it. In short, I am happy with me as a person. Which brings me back...Do I accept this person's apology and reach out or leave well enough alone. Will the past just hurt me again or make me stronger than it already has?

Carry a big stick

2008-12-19T13:53:00.000-08:00

All summer the blower motor on my car has been acting funny. That, by the way is the technical term. Finally a few weeks ago it stopped working completely and I had no defrost in my car. I brought it in to the auto department at the school in hopes that they could fix it for much cheaper than I could at a regular shop which they did for about a day and then it stopped working again. I know full well that I can't go through the entire winter with no defrost but I thought that maybe I could get around the problem by using some of that hot shit windshield washer fluid that could melt ice caps. This worked for about a week until the temperature actually went down to below zero and then it froze to the windshield as well. So, I drove to school while yelling profanities at my car and hoping not to die in some amazing crash. When I talked to Dennis about the car he told me that they couldn't actually replace the part until March but that he might have a temporary solution. He did preface this solution with the fact that I was working on borrowed time and to be careful. So, I did what I was told, I started my car, turned on the fan, and tapped under the passenger side dash with my stick. After a few sputters and a slightly alarming whining sound the motor started up and I had defrost. Needless to say, the stick doesn't leave the car!

For the love of guns

2008-12-13T15:21:00.000-08:00

Very strange things sometimes merge. A few weeks at work our register was off and nobody could find out why. We logged it and everyone was extra careful. Today when I counted my register it was off...again...the same amount... Seriously folks if you were my boss what would you do? The first thing to do it go through all the drops for the day and recount but wouldn't you know it, the drop is behind a locked door and no one but management has the key. The universe must have heard me screaming because about a half an hour into the ordeal James walked in with his managers key. Long story short, the drop was wrong but they balanced out etc. etc. and all is well. As I was trying not to cry like a little girl in relief James mentioned that is was lucky that he likes guns enough to be at the gun show across the street or it could have been a very stressful night. He was correct. Moral of the story? You never know when someones hobby with effect your life! I never thought that I would hear myself say it but thank goodness for guns!

gotta dance

2008-12-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

I love to dance. But most of all I love a live band. While I was at swing dance on Tuesday I ran into several people that I had not seen, or danced with for a long time. I felt reconnected to people that understood a part of my life that I always felt reached farther than just an activity to do once a week. True, it keeps me in shape and is a good social outlet but it is more than that. I remember my Mom telling me a story about my Grandma once. My Grandma was dating a fellow who was in the navy. Her mother used to sew her outfits to match his uniforms and they would go dancing. During the week she would save her egg money and usually have enough to either buy a coke or go and dance. I have to admit that as much as I love coke I would have chosen to dance as well! They would go to the dance hall and people would clear the floor to watch them dance together. Now, I don't even imagine that I am that good on the dance floor but I have to admit that I get a little tingle everytime I see someone trying to figure out something that my dance partner and I have done or smile at us. I feel like I can connect with people in the room without even talking. I love to dance. And I wish that my Grandma could still be here to see me dance.

Were you drooling?

2008-12-04T17:29:00.000-08:00

Keep in mind as you read this that I am an insomniac. I really don't sleep well out of town or on peoples couches. I envy those people who can just fall asleep standing in doorways and things like that. But I am not like that. For the most part I need a hot bath and my own bed with the dog sleeping at the end of it to sleep. That is why what happened next was so funny and weird. I have been working a lot of hours the past few weeks and going to school and just being busy in general. I got to school early today to drop me car off in the auto shop department so I had nothing to so for a few hours. I filled in time with the usual stuff. I called my Oma and had breakfast. Then I decided to lay down in the commons for a few minutes and "rest my eyes". when I woke up my phone was going off and it was an hour and a half later. There was a group of nursing students surrounding me and if they weren't laughing at me they sure should have been. At least one of them was nice enough to tell me that I had an imprint of the couch on my face. When I go to lunch and told the story the first thing that my friend Jen asks is "were you drooling?" Then Margret, who I was actually meeting for lunch said that if she had seen me she would have walked around the corner and then called my phone. I assume that I have at least one friend who would have taken photos before dumping a glass of water on my head! How exhausted must I have been to actually fall asleep in the school commons! This tells me that I certainly need a day off of my life. When that will be I have no idea but it will be welcome when it comes.

The very first

2008-12-03T11:22:00.000-08:00

I am writing my first blog entry. I have been told that the more you write the better you get at it and so I will write... and write... and write. I'm not completely sure what I will write about. I hope for it to be something wonderful and inspiring and perhaps it will be. Until we get to that moment of genius I will write about the things that I know best... The things that I see.